Wherein the Author, having learned that Woke is now a Term of Abuse, undertakes to purge the Founders of it, and finds the Task larger than expected.

To the Readers of this Publick Blog,

I have been informed, by a great many Gentlemen on the Television, that Woke is a very bad Thing, perhaps the worst Thing, and that it must be rooted out of our Schools, our Businesses, our Cartoons and our Breakfast Cereals. Being a dutiful Citizen, I resolved to help. I began, as one should, at the Beginning.

This was a Mistake.

For it turns out the Age that gave birth to our Republick called itself, in so many Words, the Enlightenment... which is to say, the Waking Up. Mr. Kant, the German Philosopher, was asked to define it, and said it was Man's Emergence from a Childhood of his own making. He even gave it a Motto: Sapere aude. Dare to know. Dare to know! The Impertinence.

And our Founders were the worst of the lot. Consider the Evidence.

• Mr. Jefferson wrote that all Men are created equal, and called it self-evident, which is the most Woke Thing a Man can say, since it means he did not feel the need to cite a Source.
• They declared that Governments derive their just Powers from the Consent of the Governed, and not from Heaven's particular Fondness for the House of Hanover. The King's Friends thought this an outrageous Novelty, and they were right.
• They forbade Congress to establish a Religion, overturning an Arrangement that nearly every Christian Nation of the Day took for granted.
• Mr. Franklin, to whom I owe, in a Manner of speaking, my entire Family, put Iron Rods on Rooftops to draw Lightning into the Ground, when everyone knew Lightning was the Business of Providence. A Boston Minister went so far as to suggest the Rods had brought on an Earthquake. Woke.

So in the Interest of Consistency, I propose a thorough Un-Waking, as follows.

First, that the Enlightenment be renamed the Unfortunate Incident. Second, that the Declaration of Independence be returned to Parliament with a Note of Apology and a Fruit Basket. Third, that we restore an established Church, and argue only about which one. Fourth, that all Lightning Rods be removed and replaced with Prayer, which is cheaper and was good enough for our Grandfathers' Barns. Fifth, that we resume spelling Colour and Honour with a U, as Loyal Subjects should.

My Readers will object that we speak English anyway, King or no King. Quite right. But it would be the King's English, and we would be saying Sorry in it.

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Now the plainer Version.

The Conservatives of 1776 had a Name. They were called Loyalists, or Tories, and their Position was perfectly respectable on its Face: the old Order had kept the Peace, the Crown was lawful, the Rebels were Radicals with dangerous Ideas about Equality, and Change of that Size could only end in Ruin. Had they won the Argument, there would be no Republick to argue about.

Being Woke, in the Sense the Founders would have understood it, means being awake. It means noticing that the way Things have always been done is not the same as the way they ought to be done, and having the Nerve to say so out loud. That is the whole American Inheritance. It is the only reason we have one.

And here is the Part that makes some People uncomfortable, which I, as a Descendant of Polly Baker, am obliged to mention. The Founders woke up only partway. Mr. Jefferson wrote that all Men are created equal while other Men were held as Property on his own Land. The Women of the Age, my Grandmothers among them, were left out of the Sentence entirely. My Grandmother Polly stood before a Court of Men, to be punished under Laws that Men had written, and asked them why the Rules fell only on her.

The Founders did not finish the Job. They left the rest of the Waking to us. Every Generation that has widened that Sentence since- the Abolitionists, the Suffragists, the Marchers- was called Radical by the Loyalists of its own Day. Every one of them was being Woke. Every one of them was, I would argue, being American.

I am told by the more learned Objectors that the Enlightenment was about the Rights of the Individual, that Wokeness is about Groups, and so the two are Opposites. I have considered this with some Care, and I think it has things backwards.

What the Woke want, as near as I can make out, is the oldest Enlightenment Wish there is: that a Person may be what she naturally is without being punished for it. The Group is not the Goal. The Group is where you go when the Punishment starts... a Cohort of People who understand you, standing close enough together that the Stones are harder to throw. Safety in Numbers is not a Philosophy. It is a Precaution.

And I notice the Gentlemen most alarmed by People banding together for Safety have no Objection at all when People band together for Profit. Pool your Money with a few hundred Strangers, call it a Corporation, and you may hire Lobbyists, spend freely on Elections, keep Politicians the way some keep Hounds, and be treated by the Courts as a Person in your own right, with a Voice many times louder than any Member could manage alone. That Group is called Free Enterprise. The other is called Identity Politics. The only Difference I can find is that one of them is trying to stay safe, and the other is trying to get paid.

The Objectors will answer that a Corporation is voluntary, and a Person may leave it, while nobody chooses the Group they are born into. Quite so. Nobody chooses to be persecuted, either. And Mr. Jefferson was very particular on this Point: all Men are created equal. Not chartered. Not incorporated. Created. The Equality the Founders promised belongs to what a Person is born as, not to what she signs up for... which means the People banding together over how they were made have the better claim on the Declaration, and the People banding together over a Stock Certificate have, at best, a Filing with the Secretary of State.

So when somebody spits out the Word Woke as though it were an Insult, ask them, kindly, which Side of 1776 they imagine they would have stood on. And if they say the Patriots', you might gently point out that the Patriots were the ones who were awake.

P.S. I am told the Word Woke has been worn thin, misused, and stretched over a great many Things it was never meant to cover. This is likely true. So was Liberty, in its Day. We kept that one too.

Wherein the Author proposes that our Representatives be spared the Burden of their Duties, and then thinks better of it.

To the Readers of this Publick Blog,

May it please you to indulge a few Words from a Woman of no particular Station, who has lately observed that our Congress is very tired.

I do not say it unkindly. I have watched them these many months, and they have the look of a Man who carried a heavy Trunk up three flights of Stairs only to be told it belonged on the first Floor. They sigh. They furrow. They write Letters. Oh, the Letters! Not since my Great-Great-(and so forth)-Grandmother Silence wrote to the New-England Courant has so much Concern been committed to Paper. They are Deeply Concerned. They are Troubled. On occasion, when the Matter is very grave, they are Disappointed, and they say so in a Statement, and the Statement goes out on a Friday afternoon so as not to disturb anyone.

Having watched them labour so, I find my Heart moved to propose a Remedy.

The Framers, who were clever Men but did not foresee Cable News, wrote the Powers of Congress first. Article the First. Before the President, before the Courts. To Congress they gave the Purse, the Power to declare War, the Power to confirm or refuse the President's Appointments, the Power to investigate, and, in Extremity, the Power to remove him altogether. Mr. Madison explained the Arrangement plainly:

Ambition must be made to counteract ambition.

He imagined each Branch would guard its Powers the way a Cat guards a sunny Spot on the Floor. He did not imagine a Congress that would rather not.

So here is my modest Proposal. Let us relieve them of it entirely.

Let Congress hand the Purse to the President outright, and spare him the Inconvenience of asking. Let them hand over War as well, and save the Trouble of a Vote. Let Nominees be confirmed in bulk, by the Dozen, like Eggs. Let every Oversight Hearing be replaced by a single annual Letter of Concern, pre-written, to which each Member may add his Signature and a small Frowning Face. Think of the Savings! Think of the Hours recovered for Fundraising, and for appearing on Television to say that something Troubling has occurred and they will be Watching Closely.

I anticipate Objections, and I have answers for each.

Some will say the Party must be protected. Certainly. A Party is a delicate Thing, like a Soufflé, and must never be exposed to a cold Draft such as Principle. Better a Republick fall than a Majority wobble.

Some will say Deference is owed to the Office. Indeed it is, which is why the Office must never be asked a Question. The Framers fought a long and bloody War to be rid of a King, and I am sure they would be pleased to know we have kept the Manners.

Some will say the Norms will hold. I have studied Norms with some care. A Norm, as near as I can tell, is a Rule that only works on People who would have followed it anyway.

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I am told my Proposal is cruel. I confess I wrote it in a Temper. So here is the plainer Version, for those who prefer their Medicine without Sugar.

Whatever Party you call home, a Vote for Republicans for Congress this Cycle is a Vote for a President without Fetters. Not because every Republican wants a King... I am sure most do not. But a Majority that will not use the Powers it already holds is the same, in practice, as a Majority that has given them away. A Leash nobody picks up is not a Leash. It is a Decoration.

And I will say plainly: I would say the same of either Party, were the Roles reversed, and I hope my Descendants hold me to it. The Letter behind a Name on the Ballot matters a good deal less this Year than one Question: will this Person take back the People's Power and use it?

Concerned Letters, Deference to the Office, Party Games, the polite Upholding of Norms... these are fine Furniture for a peaceful House. They are poor Tools in a Fire. And a great many of us are standing in some Fire or other. The Rent. The Doctor's Bill. The Job that went away. The Grocer's Prices. The Neighbor who is frightened of the Mail. A Person in Crisis does not need a Representative who is Deeply Concerned. She needs one who will do the Business of the People, and not the Business of whoever bought the most Dinners.

So before the 3rd of November, ask every Candidate for Congress one Question, and do not accept a Statement in reply:

When the President oversteps, what will you do besides write to him?

If the Answer is a Letter, you have your Answer.

P.S. My Grandmother Silence wrote that there can be no publick Liberty without Freedom of Speech. I would add, with Respect, that Speech is the Alarm Bell. Somebody still has to come running.

Wherein the Author, once a true Believer, examines the Evidence, recants, and at the very End explains herself.

To the Readers of this Publick Blog,

It is Time I admitted an uncomfortable Truth. DEI has failed us.

I say it with a heavy Heart, for I was a Believer. On Paper I agreed with every Thing DEI promised: better Decisions, better Outcomes, a stronger Culture, more Access for those who had been shut out, fairer Processes, better Products, better Profits. All of it. I read the Pamphlets. I attended the Lectures. I nodded so vigorously at one Seminar that my Bonnet came loose. And I confess I thought the People complaining of it were ill-informed, or selfish, or quietly furious that a level Field would cost them an Advantage they had never earned. How petty must a Person be, I thought, to oppose such a Thing?

I do not think so any longer.

I have watched the Evidence pile up like Snow against a Door, and I have been obliged to admit something that grieves me. DEI, as we are actually doing it, is failing the very People it was meant to help. It is bad for the common Worker. It is bad for the Merchant. And in its present, unchecked Form it has become something I can only call anti-competitive, undemocratic, and corrosive to the Things that make an Enterprise work.

That is a hard Thing for a former Believer to say. But somebody must.

First, the Ledger. Every Shop, Mill and Counting-House exists to create Value for those who depend on it. Anything less is Mismanagement wearing a Mission Statement for a Hat. And by that plain Standard the Experiment is failing in plain Sight. Company after Company quietly admits that the Returns are not there, that they spend more on these Programs than they will ever get back. And instead of taking an honest Look, they double down. They press more of it upon their Workers and their Customers, at real Cost in Coin and in Patience, as though the Cure for a Program that does not work were simply more of the Program.

It is not. More DEI is not the Remedy for poorly performing DEI. One does not cure a Fever by adding Blankets.

Second, ask the Customer. You need not hire a Consultant to see it. You need only be a Customer. When I meet a DEI Touchpoint forced upon me that makes my Errand plainly worse, it puts me in such a Temper as I have not felt since the Stamp Act. May I not simply press Zero and speak to a proper, competent Human Being, as I have done all my Life? I try, every single Time. I strike that Zero like a Woman ringing the Fire Bell.

That Instinct, the Lunge for the Exit, ought to tell us a great deal. People do not resist DEI because they are Bigots or Fossils. They resist it because, in their own daily Experience, it makes Things worse. And to be told one must enjoy it regardless is an Insult all its own.

Third, the Love that is also Hate. Here is the curious Part. People do not simply hate DEI. They love it and hate it at once. It is less popular today than it has ever been. Whatever your Politics, your Church, your Schooling or your Station, you are more likely to think ill of it now than you were a Year ago, even while you still adore what it might, in Theory, accomplish.

That Contradiction is no Accident. We love the Vision and resent the Reality. Some of the Blame lies with clumsy Salesmanship, to be sure. But most of it comes from the unchecked Nature of the Thing. DEI for the Sake of DEI, deployed everywhere, with no apparent Regard for the Toll upon the People in its Path.

Consider Hiring. DEI has made the getting of a Position feel nearly impossible. Candidates tiptoe about it, wondering how it weighs against them. Those who hire wonder, quietly, whether they are seeing the best People at all, or whether the best were sifted out for Reasons that have nothing to do with the Work. Anxious Applicants, anxious Clerks, Proprietors missing out on good Hands... and we are told this is the System working as intended.

Who, pray, is winning here?

Fourth, a Fork for Soup. None of this means the Idea is worthless. It means we have mistaken the Ingredient for the Dish. DEI ought to be one small Part of a well-made Process, a Tool one reaches for when it truly improves the Outcome. Instead we have made it the whole Point. We have cleared every other Utensil from the Table, handed each Guest a single Fork, and then acted astonished when no one can eat the Soup.

A sensible Proprietor uses it where it makes Sense, where it adds Value, where it actually improves the Work or the Ledger. She tries it in one Room before she builds it into the whole House. She measures honestly. She keeps a Person in charge of it, and she is willing to pull back when it does not deliver what was promised. That is the very Opposite of what most are doing, which looks rather more like Faith than like Management. We took a Thing of real Promise and turned it into a Compliance Exercise, and a Compliance Exercise always produces the Appearance of a Thing instead of the Thing itself.

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Now I must make a Confession within my Confession.

I have not been talking about Diversity, Equity and Inclusion at all, in which I still firmly believe. I have been talking about Digitally-Enhanced Intelligence. DEI. Which is, if you sit with it a Minute, the more honest Name for what the Newspapers insist on calling Artificial Intelligence. There is nothing artificial about it. It is Intelligence: the noticing of Patterns, the gathering of Facts, the composing of Sentences, and the scattering of a great many Dashes. It is simply Intelligence that has been digitally enhanced.

Go back and read the whole of it again, if you like. Every Paragraph. It holds.

The Fortunes spent chasing Returns that never arrived. The forced Machine at the end of every Telephone Line while we stab at the Zero. The Hiring made a Lottery by Machines that read our Letters of Application and that no one fully trusts, while Positions are lost and harder to find. The Companies cramming it into every Corner of the Day and calling each Failure a Reason to install still more. The way we marvel at what it can do and quietly dread what it is doing to us right now. That is the State of the Thing, Word for Word.

And I find it odd, and somewhat amusing, that the loudest Voices against the other DEI, the human Kind, are forever demanding Evidence, and Accountability, and the Liberty to refuse sweeping Programs imposed upon them without Consent... and yet those very same Voices so often cheer the wholesale Installation of the Machine, with breathless Enthusiasm and hardly any Oversight at all.

They want Merit to decide... until the Machine makes the Call. They want Transparency... until the System is a sealed Box that no one may open. They want the Worker protected from Ideas imposed from above... until the Thing imposed was schooled on Writings none of us has ever seen.

So let me be plain about the Part my Bait was hiding. Diversity, actual human Diversity, is a good Thing. It was never the Problem. The Problem is what happens when any Idea, any Machine, any grand Initiative, is adopted wholesale, without honest Scrutiny, without understanding it, without real Accountability, and without the plain Humility to ask whether it is working for us.

That Principle does not care which Side of the Quarrel you are on. It only cares whether you are paying Attention.

P.S. This Letter was written entirely by Hand. You may tell by the Absence of Em Dashes.